Resident’s Guide: What NOT to do

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Hey fellow res-lifers,

I suppose I need to get a few things off my chest about what really irritates the bodily fluids out of me. There are certain things that residents do, that just should not be done. Some are from a fed up neighbor perspective as others are straight from the RA perspective. Oh. And for those residents/non-RAs reading this, RA’s are most likely fed up with a lot more than you possibly know. Don’t get me wrong. Most of us truly love our job and the rewarding things that come with it, but honestly the things people do… I’m sure you will all get plenty of stories along the way, but I will start with a simple, What not to do list.

1. Do not gather together in the quiet wing and cackle about your ex boyfriend’s man-boobs. We do not want to hear it, and it’s a quiet wing for a freaking reason.

2. Do not beat the poor innocent door’s push bar when exiting the hall. Again, we do not want to hear it. The door doesn’t want to feel it, and it’s really not necessary. The door will open when pushed lightly. I promise.

3. Do not let your lack of hygiene, laundry, and overall cleanliness go to the point of odor travelling down the entire corridor. Believe me when I say this, we do not want to smell it. Girl, you don’t even want to smell it. Oh, and it’s a real awkward conversation for staff member and a resident to have.

4. Do not bring up politics and religion at every meal. People won’t sit with you.

5. Do not practice Irish jigs or basketball dribbling when you live on any level above the 1st floor. It’s rude and we do not want to hear it.

I don’t know if you can tell but I hate noise.

6. Do not rely on your roommate to wake you up for class. She is not your mom, she did not sign up to pretend to be your mom and she has her own self to worry about.

7. Do not throw your trash in the kitchen waste basket. The garbage room is about 30 extra steps, and it is simply polite to keep your tampons out of the kitchen trash.

8. If you see an open window when you are walking around the outside of the residence hall please do not proceed to egg it. College students are supposed to be adults.

9. No. Why would you ever think it is ok to sit in the computer lab while the fire alarms are going off? Are you going to blame the school when you get burned in a fire too?

10. A fire hose closet and a fire exit stairwell are two silly places to store 4 bed frames and a dresser. Don’t store things in places that are supposed to save our lives someday. I’d like to live, thanks.

Don’t do it.

<3 Kir

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